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“The Staff Meeting From Hell”
Written by Jessica Schmit
“Is the agenda ready Laziness?” Lucifer asked pointedly to his rotting counterpart.
“Um…well…. I was going to get to it, but I forgot it was staff meeting today.” Laziness hesitantly replied to his intimating leader.
“Leave.”
“But Luci...”
“Leave NOW!” Lucifer screamed at the cowering creature. Laziness slowly sauntered out of the room.
“We’ll begin today’s staff meeting by discussing the Jones couple. They recently turned to ‘the Dark Side’ and have been attending… ‘that building’ on Sundays. Most disgustedly, they have actually been praying together. This is not acceptable. Who did I assign to deal with this situation?”
“Me, of course. Who else could do a better job with Cori?” Anger reported vehemently to the crowd of devilish recruits.
“I was assigned to Kevin, Cori’s husband. It’s been a really ‘eventful’ week.” Lust revealed, while applying “Seduction,” his cologne.
“Did you both successfully complete your job?” Lucifer demanded.
“Are you referring to getting the chains and locks in place?”
“Are you stupid? Of course that’s what I mean!”
Kevin Jones looked at his wife, Cori, and sighed. The past week had been terrible. Fighting seemed to be their favorite pastime.
Why does she have to whine and complain about everything!
It didn’t help that a beautiful, flirty young intern started at his office last week. She made it obvious she had her eyes set on Kevin.
I deserve to go out with Rebecca. Her smile, her lips...
Unbeknownst to Kevin, chains were placed around his body. A key the color of coal turned in the lock. It was invisible to the human eye, but seen clearly in the spiritual realm.
“Lucifer, in answer to your question, I locked those chains firmly in place. At the rate I’m moving, he’ll be having an affair by Sunday.”
“Satisfactory work Lust. Keep on him. I must say, I think the budget committee did a fabulous job blowing all the savings on this ‘life mirror.’ Sure, the ‘Man’ might be omnipresent, but He doesn’t have a mirror that can look into people’s lives.” Lucifer laughed haughtily while gazing into the mirror, observing the Jones family.
“What about you Anger? Are the locks in place?”
“Look in the ‘life mirror’.” Anger stated while proudly holding a black key.
Cori looked over at her husband.
That’s just like him to sit there on the couch, hours on end. He never lifts a finger to help out. Never asks what I want. He’s so selfish!
Anger tightened the chains around Cori, while turning his key in the lock.
“You can make dinner tonight Kevin!” Cori stated smugly at her husband.
“What? You didn’t work today! I did. Cooking’s your job when you stay at home.”
“My JOB! What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well Anger, it looks like you’re doing great! The next family we need to…”
“Um, can everyone see that…?”
“Quiet Discontentment, I wasn’t finished yet!” Lucifer’s eyes flashed with anger.
“I’m sorry, it’s just…”
“It’s just what?”
“It’s just…well, look at the mirror. I don’t think you’re going to like it…”
Cori sighed as she walked slowly up the stairs to her bedroom.
God, why can’t I seem to get control of these angry thoughts. I don’t want to be so snappy with Kevin… I feel like we’re miles apart.
Cori walked over to the side of her bed and sank to her knees in prayer.
“God, I’m sorry… I need Your help.”
“Anger! I thought you said you had this covered? …Oh no! She’s…she’s…” Lucifer’s eyes widened with in fear.
“Kevin?”
Kevin looked up from the couch.
“Kevin, I just wanted to apologize for…everything this past week.”
“This is horrible! Lust, you need to help Anger. He obviously can’t do this job.
Kevin looked up at his wife. Memories of years of struggles, joys, laughter and adventures filled his mind. She’s not Rebecca…thank God!
“I’m sorry too. Come here.” Kevin wrapped his arms around Cori. “I was just praying for you Cori.”
“Ok, who else can go?! Lust and Anger aren’t doing anything. Who else can go?!”
“Um Lucifer, we can’t.”
“You can! I’m your boss. I tell you what you can and cannot do!”
“No. We literally can’t. Look in the mirror.”
Lucifer peered into the mirror. The horrible reality of the situation shook him to the core.
Prayer must have done this. Lucifer’s empty heart sank.
Lying on the ground, broken and in shambles, laid the chains.
