The Top Ten Ways to Have a Successful Marriage

Pam Smith

psmith@biblical.edu

1. Be grateful for each other.  Never put down your spouse, neither publicly nor privately, not even in your thoughts. 

2. Your spouse’s weaknesses are very much a part of why you fell in love! 
   Don’t dwell on them; instead, provide the strength that offset them. 

3. Always build up your spouse; encourage him/her with positive reinforcement.  Listen before you speak! 

4. Because a husband and a wife are intimate, you learn each other’s faults. Don’t ever use them as weapons when angry.  If you do, your spouse will become guarded and you will begin to lose that special bond that enables you to love each other with all your heart. 

5. Stay faithful; marriage is built on a foundation of trust.  Broken trust is like dropping a precious vase; you might be able to glue it back together, but you will always know that it has a weak spot that could break again under pressure. 

6. Continue dating and pursuing your spouse.  Marriage is not a conquest that is over on the day you say, “I do”.  You have to continuously work on your relationship.  Help your spouse to fall in love with you more each day. 

7. There is no status quo in marriage.  Everything that you do will cause the two of you either to grow closer together, or to grow apart.  Do things together, be willing to sacrifice doing things that you may enjoy for the sake of your spouse. 

8. Share a common faith.  Marriage is a commitment between husband, wife, and God.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 states, “A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart”.  As the two of you grow closer to God, you will grow closer to each other. 

9. Each of you has a special role in your marriage.  A baseball team cannot function without both a pitcher and a catcher.  One is not more important than the other; the roles are intentionally different, and each has special responsibilities that need to be performed if the team is going to succeed.  The secret to understanding the roles that make a marriage successful is outlined in Ephesians 5:22-33. 

10. Eliminate the word “divorce” from your vocabulary.  Honor the commitment that you have made to each other before God, and always be there for one another. Commitment is the true meaning of Love.